Wednesday, June 21, 2017

100 Faces of Jean Loring



1.  "I'm not really Jean Loring, I just play one on teevee" face


2.  "We'll just blooming SEE" face


3.  Explanation-Demanding face
4.  Full-Blown Paranoiac Fit Face


5.  Sweetly Nostalgic Face


6.  "I killed Mary Tyler Moore and now wear her skin" face


7.  "Marlo Thomas was next" face

8.  "YOU'RE ALL OUT TO GET ME!" face

9.  "I don't know what I'll do if you're not in my life, but I sure as hell intend to find out soon" face

10.  "I dig Ivy University" face

11.  "Oh, and you don't know how to handle the CAR right, either" face

12.  "Should I stab him with the pencil now or wait til later when he's asleep?" face


13.  "HAHAHAHA you don't really think this will HOLD me, do you?" face


14.  "I will hug you and pet you and call you George" face


15.  "I swear to god if you put the wrong kind of sweetener in that coffee I will slap you into next Wednesday" face


16.  "Tee hee, another fan letter from the Joker" face


17.  "Oh, you're too late I've already swallowed Ray!" face


18.  PTUU! face


19.  "I'm from a civilized country, you scum" face



20.  "If I skinned the Riddler for this dress, imagine what I'll do to you" face


21.  "I'm in command of this starship now, ANY OBJECTIONS?!" face


22.  "I--I broke my flamethrower" face


23.  Succubus Face


24.  "Thanks to my hand mirror I have just enough advance warning to cut Ray off with some vicious remark RIGHT before he proposes to me" face



25.  "I Can Shove a Roller through Your Eye and into Your Brain Before You can Blink" face

26.  Growing Paranoia Face

27.  "There's a sale on flamethrowers?!?!" face

28.  "With this evidence I can send them ALL to the chair!" face



29.  Queen Jean is pissed! face


30.  "And for god's sake, Ray, put your clothes back on" face



31. I'm Having That Awesome Dream Where I'm a Romulan Spy Again face

32.  "Jean Loring is tired of tiny phones and the tiny men who come out of them" face


33.  EEEEEEEE Face



34.  "You are so ****ing native" face


35.  "Who has just sacrificed his life by waking Jean Loring?" face

36.  "And I also broke his tiny little body which is here in my hand" face

37.  "Ray, today is a good day TO DIE!" face

38.  "What? What're YOU gonna do?" face


39.  Acting Oddly face



40.  The Heh heh No One Will Ever Suspect Me face

41.  "SALUTE MY BOOTS!" face

42.  "Huh, I look almost normal today" face


43.  "HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN LYING TO ME?!" face


44.  "FLICK YOU!" face


45.  The Face I'll use to seduce the Spectre and make him destroy all magic in the universe and step on Atlantis so hard that GOD HIMSELF will directly intervene and put me into a personal orbiting prison around the sun because ONLY GOD HIMSELF dares tangle with Jean Loring

46.  "I'm about to *PTUU* on you, little man, and after you have lapped that up, you will thank me and ask for more" face



47.  "You have a full line of flamethrowers in stock...AND you're open all night?!" face


48.  "You're a dead man, Gordon, do you hear me? A DEAD MAN!" face


49.  "I look less scary as a Black Lantern than I did when I was alive" face

50.  "Do you have ANY idea what will happen to you if you say no, Pedro?" face



51.  "If you think Queen Jean fears bondage you are in for rude awakening" face

52.  "THIS, people, is bondage, and I did this TO MYSELF" face




53.  "The best part about being a lawyer is seeing people's faces when I tell them they are disinherited" face



54.  "Do you mind, I'm on the phone laughing with my mother about your sorry performance in the sack" face



55.  "Goddammit, Ray, check your appointment calendar, it's pirate dominatrix cosplay night" face 


56.  "EVERYONE is in trouble when I call you 'Raymond', Raymond" face


57.  "Will shrinking help you when I throw you to that attacking shark?" face

58.  "Why, oh, why does the white man litter by throwing garbage from his automobiles in this, my homeland?"


59.  "Speaking of 'nukers' I'm pretty sure I could fit your pretty little head into a microwave oven" face




60.  Atomic Ice-Cream Headache Face
  

61.  "Queen Jean is frightened" face


62.  "I hope you like microphone, buddy, because you're about to eat that one" face



63.  Weeping Specter of Adulthood Responsibilities face



64.  "Now serving VICTIM #1158!" face


65.  "I'd rip the skin off your face!" face





66.  "And you should probably take my wish VERY seriously if you don't want to lose that hand" face






67.  "THE STREETS OF CURACAO WILL RUN RED WITH THE BLOOD OF NUCLEAR PHYSICISTS!" face


68.  "You wouldn't think it's funny if you could see my face" face


69.  "It's called decolletage, you scum" face

70.  "Struggling desperately to stifle a scream" face


71.  "By the time I'm done with you, you'll beg for death at the hands of Dr. Spectro" Face

72.  "Oh, god, it's Ray" face

73.  "Sometimes I like to make-believe I'm Pamela Isley" face


74.  Transquartomuralistic Relentless Terminator Face




75.  "If you put your tongue in me I swear to god I'll bite it off and spit it back in your face" face


76.  "IT TICKLES!" face


77.  "At last I meet you, my rival, face to face, that is, until I rip YOUR face off with my teeth" face


78.  " 'Queen Jean' if you please!" face

79.  "Did I remember to put that severed head back in the refrigerator?" face



80.  "I am SO glad I had Ray's severed head laminated" face


81.  "My name is Jean Loring and you can start screaming it right NOW" face


82.  "And by 'it' I mean YOUR LIFE" face

83.  "Bunnies are sweet and innocent and harmless and everyone will love me if I'm a bunny" face



84.  The Face of Using Your Insecurities as My Warm Blanket While I Sleep Uncaringly Through Your Emotional Trauma



85.  "Sad when I think about what I'm going to do to you for not trusting me" face
86.  "I hate comic books and everyone who reads them" face




87.  "I love you like I love chocolate Easter bunnies" face


88.  "Your science-fiction gimmicks do not impress me, little man" face


89.  The "Goddammit I forgot my necklace of human ears at home again and now I have to make another" face



90.  "I'm just so much HAPPIER now that I'm Eclipso" face


91.  "One more word about that and I'll bite your face off" face



92.  "Dammit, his pulse is still too strong" face



93.  "But if this little bird, or you, are lying to me I will roast and eat one or both of you" face


94.  Nursing a Stiff Drink Face



95.  "Well, 'THEY" had better hope I never find out who they are" face

96.  The Last Face that Poor Man Ever Saw




97.  "Stop pointing that phony fountain pen at me, you lunatic!" face

98.  "Waiter, the ice has diluted my drink, please bring me more human blood" face




99.  "If my flamethrower kills you, judge, and I freshly after the fact tender you the flamethrower, you will be without recourse against me" face


100.  "How can anyone for even a minute have ever questioned my total insanity?" face